Who better to expound on the complexities of love and sex than Girls creator/writer/director Lena Dunham? If you’ve ever seen an episode of her hit show, you’ll know Dunham is well versed on the subject. And, unlike most of the entertainment industry, she doesn’t try to dress it up or glorify it in a way that defies reality. For a witty, honest take on love, check out our picks of Ms. Dunham’s best quotes about love and sex!
Does Physical Appearance Really Matter?
When Patrick Wilson appeared in an episode of Girls as the handsome Brownstone-owning doctor with whom Hannah has a brief fling, Dunham faced a surprising amount of backlash questioning how well the relationship reflects reality given the perceived disparity in attractiveness between Dunham and Wilson. In response, Dunham offered a blunt assessment of how people fall in love:
“Everyone dates everyone, for lots of reasons we can’t understand. Sexuality isn’t a perfect puzzle, like, ‘He has a nice nose and she has a nice nose! She’s got great breasts and he’s got great calves! And so they’re going to live happily ever after in a house that was purchased with their modeling money!’ It’s a complicated thing.”
Healthy and Loving Relationships in Your Twenties? Not So Fast
Despite still being in her twenties and in a serious relationship herself, Dunham doesn’t seem to have much faith in her generation’s ability to maintain a healthy relationship. In the quote below, she suggests the instability of those formative years might be the root of the problem.
“Positive, healthy, loving relationships in your twenties… I don’t know if anyone would disagree with it: I think they’re the exception, not the norm. People are either playing house really aggressively because they’re scared of what an uncertain time it is, or they’re avoiding commitment altogether.”
Sex: It’s More Complicated Than You Think
People tend to equate sex with a good time- plain and simple, but if you ask Dunham, there’s a lot more to it than that. Given her tendency to showcase the good, the bad, and the awkward of sex on her show, Dunham sheds some light on where this understanding of sex comes from.
“There are probably going to be girls who are like ‘I have good sex! I don’t know what your problem is, but my sex life is fun!’ But for me and for a lot of people I know, sex has been this battleground on which you’re playing out a lot of identity issues beyond just getting off (or whatever the kids are saying these days).”
Women, Sex, and Self-Worth
In Dunham’s many quotes about love and sex, women have taken a central focus. In the quote below, Dunham reveals how young women often tie their self-worth to sex and their willingness to participate in it.
“I think that for young women sex is about sex but sex is also about wanting to be liked and wanting to be appreciated. And the fear when you say no is that someone will go OK, well then see you later. Like that you will, you know, lose your loving audience.”
Sometimes love is a wonderful, take-your-breath-away sort of magical moment, but sex is rarely the way it looks in the movies. Dunham’s quotes (and her show) reveal a critical mind that isn’t afraid to challenge what we believe about love and sex. These Lena Dunham quotes about love reminds us that love and sex aren’t as simple and straightforward as the media would have us believe. Love and sex are complicated and beautiful – and they can teach us a lot about ourselves.